I woke up in London yesterday.

In a dream I awoke to find my self in another place unfirmiliar but filled with emense white light. Expectedly unexpected jolted over again and again nudging me to the next chapter in my life. As I started to realize what was happening to my body I remained calm and rode each wave as it took me from one shore line to the next. I was on a journey to where we began, this life was coming full circle in a day, in a transe. This is how I imagine my labor and birthing experience will be. But it wasn’t always this way, the fearless girl on a journey through the seas, no I was over taken by the unknown. I broke out in spontaneous tears streaming down my cheeks the moment I knew that I was pregnant, tears of joy and tears of fear. Through this process, 40 long wondering weeks, I wondered down every path. I found that I was truly and wholely in control, and then the fear left me. Only I was able to labor this child into the world, no one could do it for me. At a time when I thought I would want to leave my body, be drugged an medicated, induced and out of my mind, I turned inward instead. Deeply breathing life itself. Praying that God would only give me what I can handle. I am fully aware. Now I will embrace the next wave from the sea, until we meet.


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